After my first Birth mother’s day experience and the over whelming love I felt from people who hardly knew me the lack of support at home became less relevant to me.
Don’t get me wrong I wished my family would understand why I did what I did and stop taking it so personally but it wasn’t the at the front of my mind all the time any more.
I had found an amazing support system and all I could do was keep going forward and hope one day my family could see things from a different light and join me.
I finally moved out of the drug filled house and started to get things together. A friend of mine took me and helped me stay clean as this was my biggest goal at the time.
Dana continued to send me letters and pictures regularly and I was even writing back! We were slowing learning all we could about one another. It was the first time I didn’t feel pressured to be someone I wasn’t.
I never lied to them. They knew about the drugs and me trying to get clean, they knew about the lack of support at home for my adoption choice, they even knew when I left the apartment I was in and was unsure of where I would go next.
All I ever got from them was love and support. For so many in my life this choice I made was a negative thing. I had lost friends and family members over this decision of mine, but I found something too.
I found a community that I was instantly part of. That loved me and respected me for all the decisions I was making. I found support in a way I hadn’t before. I was on my way to a better me and I wasn’t alone. I had found people to turn to even though they weren’t the people I thought I would turn to.
I had found a shining light in a dark place and I just kept walking towards it.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill