So I am not sure how to start this other than to warn you it’s a LONG one.

I’m going to make a super long and confusing story short; a few years ago now I found out that my older brother whom I had believed passed away at a very young age was very much alive and living not far from me.

I remember seeing his picture and being blown away by how much I looked like him, ginger hair and all.

This revelation brought up a lot of other things in its wake but the most important thing in my brain was knowing that my brother was alive and I wanted to know him.

As a birth mother, I knew it may not be that easy.

I knew as shocking and crazy as this was for me it had to be for him as well.

So I reached out on Facebook, awkwardly introduced myself and we exchanged numbers.

Since connecting we have texted back and forth on holidays and birthdays and had some chats about maybe meeting up. I had no idea how he was feeling or what he was thinking about all the things happening. I wanted to ask him about his thoughts and feelings but didn’t feel like it was a conversation to have via text, ya know?

On April 3rd,  at around 9 pm, I got a text from Brandon asking me if I would be interested in meeting around 5 pm the next day.

I squealed as I ran through my house to tell Travus my brother wanted to meet, I can’t stress enough the level of squeal that came out of me; picture Swiftie levels squeals.

In normal Brandy fashion, my immediate response was to panic as Travus looked at me smiling, reminding me how badly I wanted this and how I had nothing to be scared of, he even offered to come with me.

I quickly confirmed with Brandon, and the anxiety started to set in. I was grateful it was the next day because if I had had to wait days, my therapist would have wanted to change her number 😂.

Sleep was a struggle that night, but for once, it wasn’t fear; it was excitement.

I spent ALL morning talking about how nervous I was. I couldn’t think about ANYTHING else. I changed my clothes like 3/4 times, I was a little unhinged 🤷‍♀️. All I could do was worry he would hate me.

I decided not to drive as I planned on having a drink or two (my nerves agreed).

My fear of being late mixed with the excitement and anxiety caused me to arrive early as I do most things, so I panic-vaped for a minute and headed inside.

I grabbed a table and a drink and tried to breathe.

Being early didn’t help the waiting anxiety, I watched the door and the clock with a pounding in my chest. With every car that pulled in the anticipation built. As the minutes passed I began to worry that maybe he had changed his mind.

When I look back out the window there he is. The man who looks just like me with a beautiful woman heading right inside. Instant panic sets in and I can feel the tears climbing the brims of my eyes.

I wave from the back of the bar and they walk my way. The closer they got the harder it was for me to fill my lungs. Just as quickly as the panic came it was gone as my big brother hugged me for the first time.

His wife Meghan came with him, which was great. She is so sweet and super funny. We all just sat and talked, getting to know each other.

The entire time, the little kid inside me couldn’t believe this was happening.

At the end of it all, they gave me a ride home and got to meet Travus, which was just ad incredible for me.

It took me a few days to fully process the reality that I hugged my big brother and his wife. I learned so much about them as people and as a couple. I got to hear all about their kids and how freaking awesome they are.

On April 4th, 2024, a part of me I never thought would find healing began to heal.

The empty space inside my soul I have carried for him since the day I learned his name has been filled with more love than I can express or even imagine.

Thank you, Brandon, for taking time out of your days to respond to my every text. For having the courage to set a time and date. Thank you for showing up. Just thank you a million times over.

Meghan, thank you for being so awesome and so supportive of this whole crazy ride. You are an incredible partner and person. The love and support just pour out of you so effortlessly, and it leaves me in awe of you. Thank you so much.

I love you both (and the kids) to the moon and back.

“The greatest thing I ever did was pick up the phone and dial your number.”