There is this darkness inside of me where all things bad reside. I do my very best to stay away from there as I have become very familiar with it over the last 34 years. This is not always something I can easily do even now.
I have worked very hard in my life to gain some type of control over my mental health but I have not by any means been cured of these things that cause me to suffer. I still slip into an uncontrollable rage that has damaged my relationships with family and friends alike. I still have days of such sadness that I want nothing more than to end it all.
I have times where I slip into that dark place and even though I know the way out I still struggle to find it. I close myself off and shut down out until I can get myself back to where I need to be. There are times even now that this takes longer than most would care for especially me.
I do not have a secret cure all at the end of these stories I am gathering for you here and I am sorry if you thought I did. I am by no means cured or able to cure others. What I can do though is show others that they are not alone. To show you that with time things do get easier to deal with and life can be manageable no matter how much your suffering now.
I know many of you that follow me on Facebook noticed that last week I didn’t share any new links past Monday and I am sure those of you who just visit the site discovered no new posts available, and for that let down I am sorry. This past week has not been an easy one for me and I have not been in the best of places mentally or emotionally.
As you all continue to follow the history of my journey please keep in mind that just like yours mine is also on going.
“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
Walk beside me… just be my friend” ― Albert Camus
I am so glad to be apart of your journey and I love this post. I think its important for people to understand its not about a ‘cure’. Its about community, understanding, and acceptance. Its about the journey not the destination.
Thank you so much! It is very important to me that people understand this is not about being fixed or cured! I appreciate the love and support so much!