I have never been able to easily let thinks go. I am not one to forgive quickly either. I doesn’t matter if its forgiving someone else or myself it’s just not something I have ever been good at.
I tend to hold on to things. Especially anger. It just sits there inside my chest for what feels like forever and if I have calmed myself but am not really over it just thinking about it makes me angry all over again. Not annoyed but angry, full blown rage just like when it happened.
This has always been the norm for me, this inability to let things go. Sadness can from time to time have the same effects on me. Moments where it is too strong to let go of quickly. My anger issues though those are on a whole different level. One that shows the darks side of me I want so desperately want to hide.
I can stay angry for hours after an event has occurred sometimes even days with out the anger once declining in intensity.
This behavior has gotten me called dramatic more than once in my life. It’s hard not to be “dramatic” when you full of unrelenting emotions. The anger that fills me also drains me, not just emotionally but physically as well.
This is something this is still a struggle for me in my day to day life. Although I tend to be a bit better at managing with age the effects are still very much the same.
“Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before it takes something from him. ” -Louis L’Armour