As I began to learn more about the wiccan belief system I found myself in this place of peace and understanding. I found myself becoming connected to things around me all the time.
I also began to learn not all of the things I was experiencing in life were due to my mental health issue but some of these things were actually a spiritual thing.
I have always been able to walk into a room and sense the emotion in the room. I could always tell which people we happy to be where they were and which had not been. I would feel these things as my own but know inside that they were not my feelings.
For along time any time this would happen I would just assume it was Samantha trying to push herself forward, turns out I am what they call an empath. Now I am aware that parts of these things I experience emotionally are because of my mental health problems but I have learned through the years how to tell the difference.
I absorb the negative feelings around me almost always and almost as soon as I feel them. This can be very overwhelming as I sometime feel everything to an extreme. I am the same way with peaceful and loving emotions I feed on these and flourish. It is an amazing and draining gift.
Not everyone has the strength to take away someone else’s negative and carry it as their own. For some reason the Goddess and the Lord looked down on me and felt that I had enough strength to do so and I am both blessed and honored by this.
It took me a long time to learn how to control this and to not let it drain me to dangerous levels of exhaustion, both mentally and physically.
Per the norm this all comes back to the natural world around me. On days where I am overloaded and in need of some release in a calm and neutral place I go out in the world and I find that quite corner and I take in all the smells and sounds and positive energy that flows through this space, just as I do the negative throughout my days.
As I continued to learn I continued to grow and connect with my goddesses and her gods in ways that opened me up to a whole new way of thinking and feeling I never dreamed of.
“Magic is not always serious or solemn. It is a joyous celebration and merging with the life-force.” – Scott Cunningham