The Saturday before Mother’s day is Birth Mother’s day and although it is a nationally recognized holiday it is rarely celebrated in the public light. Adoption Star however felt that it was something that deserved to be celebrated and therefore started holding a Birth Mother’s day brunch every year on birth mother’s day.
They openly invite birth parents and their families along with adoptive parents and their families to come together and celebrate the brave women who made an adoption plan for their child(ren).
This is a great time for everyone to get a chance to spread some love and support to one another as well as for birth parents to spend time with their child(ren)’s families and get to know one another.
I remember the first call from the agency telling me about the birth mother’s day event. I had no idea what it was or that it was even a thing people did. Hanging up that first call I remember being mostly confused. Other than agency support I hadn’t had much and I didn’t really know that there were a whole lot of people who actually thought what I did was a positive thing.
At this point, my son was only a few months old and I had just only met his parents a short time ago. I wasn’t really sure if I was ready for this. So I tried to make excuses as to why I could not attend. I don’t drive or have money for a bus or taxi there is no way I could get there and back. They only had a solution to my problem. We will pick you up and drop you off.
A few days before the event I finally came clean with my advocate about the fact that I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to see them all again and or be around all those people I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure I was strong enough. She told me she understood and reminded me that these people were the same people I attended support group with but if I wasn’t ready she wouldn’t push. I was free to change my mind at anytime all I had to do was call.
I did change my mind. The morning of the event I called the agency and told them I wanted to take part. They did not hesitate to send someone for me and immediately started to try and reach Dana and Wayne to let them know I had decided to go. When I arrived at the event my advocate had let me know that they hadn’t heard back yet but they would keep trying.
I remember telling her it was okay. That I made a last-minute decision and couldn’t expect them to be available just because I changed my mind. A short time later I see her running toward me just smiling as she tells me they just called they were at a birthday party but are packing up and leaving right now and will be here as soon as possible. I just cried, it was all I could do as I let it all sink in.
These two people who didn’t even know me, they had met me one time one single time that was it and they packed up their stuff, left a birthday party, and drove over an hour with an infant in the car just to see me and have that small amount of time with me.
I have since attended every birthmother’s day celebration with Dana, Wayne, and Jacob along with the rest of my Adoption Star family. The following year we did an interview with the Buffalo News (https://buffalonews.com/news/another-mothers-day-birth-moms-reunite-with-children-given-up-for-adoption/article_51b3292d-0baf-5f2e-b3b7-a8cab8797e91.html).
The amazement of that day has never faded for me. The overwhelming love has only grown stronger and I am forever grateful for that day.
” A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me.” – Jody Landers