At this point I was back living indoors and this time the situation was ideal in my mind anyway. I was living with a couple of girls that I had met and there just like me were into drugs.

We didn’t have the all the same drug preferences but some of them were the same. They were both also big drinkers. Drinking was never a big deal for me. I didn’t do much underage drinking and the few times I had drank didn’t go very well so it wasn’t something I liked to do often.

When you mix addicts together the fun doesn’t last long. We had a few good months together. It turned from partying all the time to fighting all the time. This one did that and that one took this it was out of control in the worst ways. So slowly we all parted ways. This time I was packing my stuff with another place already lined up.

A childhood friend of mine invited me to come stay with him, his girlfriend and kids all he was asking in return was that I helped his girlfriend with the kids now and then. I agreed.

Upon my arrival with my belongings I met his girlfriend and she seemed very sweet and was so welcoming. She had cleaned out the spare bedroom for me and told me she was working on getting me a bed but there was an air mattress for me to use for now. I was ever so grateful for what they were doing for me, and so I planned to keep my drug use a secret perusal.

It didn’t take long for me to discover that may not be as necessary as I had thought. Not long after the kids had been tucked in for the night did she approach me and ask if I smoked weed. I laughed and said “Yea, regularly”. So there we sat in the living room smoking a bowl and just getting to know one another.

I was relieved that I could at least smoke weed openly but still felt the need to keep my heavier use quiet. There is a huge difference between smoking a little weed and shooting dope into your body and I knew that. I had found a good thing here and wanted to hold onto it for awhile, or so I thought.

“At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure, but the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain. ” -Frank Tallis

About the Author

Brandy Clear is woman who has walked down some of the darkest paths life has to offer. She has taken a lot of these steps alone. As she has rebuilt her life and self she has made it her mission to be the light to as many people as she can. She wants no one to have to walk alone in the dark. She does not want to save you, she just wants to remind you that you are not alone.

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