I wrote this a while back to try and control some of the “why do you cut” but never had the courage to share it with anyone other than my boyfriend… until now.

The moment the darkness brushes my damp shaky skin the desire rises. Fast and aggressively, quickly smashing my hollow strength. With damp and unsteady hands the cold steel send a hot flash through me. The blood so warm it burns as it slowly moves toward the floor. As my heartbeat slows and my breathing steady’s the blade finds its place on my skin. For a moment everything is calm and still but gentility flowing. No sooner as I find bliss does the warmth begin to subside and the clotting begin. My moment has passed and the chaos resumes. I clean up my mess and carry on as all good girls do.

 “When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you.”