There was a short time where I did my best to avoid listening to her talk…that girl that lives inside of my head. I would tune her out and just pretend she wasn’t there.
This was short lived mostly because she is loud, demanding and her name is Samantha. She just isn’t not the kind of person easily ignored. She was as good of a listener as she was a talker. I found myself talking to her as much as she talked to me. The best part about having a voice inside your head is you don’t actually have to talk out loud to communicate so, you don’t look as crazy as you feel.
The worst part was learning to deal with the difference between her emotions and mine. There were times I would be filled with anger or sadness or even joy that weren’t mine. I know that doesn’t make sense but in those moments those were not the emotions I was feeling. I still have no idea to explain it in away to make someone else understand.
The struggles that ensued when our emotions didn’t match could be mentally and emotionally destructive. Just like anyone else you are in contact with daily we had to learn one another. Become friends so to speak.
I learned that Samantha and I may have a lot in common but there are just as many differences. As much as I could find common ground with her I knew her over the top emotional reactions mixed with mine could be dangerous for both her and I as well as all those around us.
“Is there no way out of the mind? -Sylvia Plath