My entire life my birthday has been my favorite holiday, yes I said holiday.

When I was a kid it was for no other reason than it was my birthday and as a kid your birthday is supposed to be exciting.

The older I got the more excited I would get. I spent a lot of my life being self destructive and reckless. So after a year of whatever shit show I got myself involved in my birthday was like a milestone.

Of course it got worse before it got better, but that tends to be the way these things go.

As the years have gone on I have become less concerned about not seeing my next birthday, but just as impressed and excited when I do.

I still find it to be almost a miracle that I have survived what I have. It’s still amazes me that I am who I am today. For a long time I couldn’t see passed what I was to even imagine who I could be.

These last 37 years have been a cluster fuck of bad, good, chaos and calm. I have dug myself a grave and pulled myself out of it more times than any human should.

I have fought some dangerous wars with myself and the world around me. I have overcome addiction, cancer, homelessness, abuse and mental health problems.

I have learned how to be a better daughter, mother, sister, friend and partner. I have blessed this world with 5 amazing humans and I have led people out of their dark days.

I have held hands and wiped tears and loved unconditionally. I have taken all of my dark days and turned them into something beautiful that I can stand up and be proud of.

Here’s to me and all I have accomplished in these short 37 years.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

-Robert Frost