Becoming homesick

It didn’t take too long for me to miss regular life and the people I had left at home.

My mom and I had regular communication via the phone since I had left the detention center. I was doing well for the most part but it wouldn’t take too long for that to change.

As I began to miss home more and more I found myself becoming easily annoyed with the people around me. All of them. I had about a week or so before school resumed and until then I was stuck in the cottage with the same staff and girls and routines every single day.

I had grown real tired of hearing everyone complain about how they didn’t belong here and this wasn’t fair and that wasn’t their fault and blah blah blah. I soon became verbally aggressive with everyone around me. My tone was mean and my words were sharp and I have no care to change it.

It didn’t take long before my aggressive words sparked psychical altercations with others girls, which quickly resulted in a cottage transfer for me.

They moved me to a cottage for more difficult girls. I spent my first week here very much like I did in my original cottage, alone in my room with a book, or a pen. I had begun writing again. Some being letters I knew would never be mailed and some just for me.

I had missed my boyfriend and our friends I even missed my mom and sisters. More than I had expected to. I felt so far away from everything even though in reality I wasn’t. I didn’t know how long I could really do this with out losing control.

It didn’t take long for me to exit my room and begin to mingle around with the other girls and staff. I quickly became attached to some and instantly butted heads with others. Soon I would find myself at a level of comfort that helped me lose my focus and I would soon become a problem for those around me once again.

“The illusion of control make the helplessness seem more palatable.” – Allie Brosh

Brandy Clear

Brandy Clear is a Smart, Beautiful and Creative woman. She has journeyed the world in the darkest and happiest of places. She is now on a mission to reach out and help others by telling her story and showing people there is light at the end of even the darkest tunnels.

Leave a Comment