It didn’t take too long for me to miss regular life and the people I had left at home.
My mom and I had regular communication via the phone since I had left the detention center. I was doing well for the most part but it wouldn’t take too long for that to change.
As I began to miss home more and more I found myself becoming easily annoyed with the people around me. All of them. I had about a week or so before school resumed and until then I was stuck in the cottage with the same staff and girls and routines every single day.
I had grown real tired of hearing everyone complain about how they didn’t belong here and this wasn’t fair and that wasn’t their fault and blah blah blah. I soon became verbally aggressive with everyone around me. My tone was mean and my words were sharp and I have no care to change it.
It didn’t take long before my aggressive words sparked psychical altercations with others girls, which quickly resulted in a cottage transfer for me.
They moved me to a cottage for more difficult girls. I spent my first week here very much like I did in my original cottage, alone in my room with a book, or a pen. I had begun writing again. Some being letters I knew would never be mailed and some just for me.
I had missed my boyfriend and our friends I even missed my mom and sisters. More than I had expected to. I felt so far away from everything even though in reality I wasn’t. I didn’t know how long I could really do this with out losing control.
It didn’t take long for me to exit my room and begin to mingle around with the other girls and staff. I quickly became attached to some and instantly butted heads with others. Soon I would find myself at a level of comfort that helped me lose my focus and I would soon become a problem for those around me once again.
“The illusion of control make the helplessness seem more palatable.” – Allie Brosh