While Joe and I were living together I had started to see a guy with will call him Kevin.

See Kevin was married.

He would come by after work for a bit go home and then hang out on the weekend and he did drugs, I couldn’t ask for much more at that point.

Joe knew Kevin from the area and introduced us. Joe told me the night I had met Kevin that he was married, so later that night when he made his move I used that knowledge to see if he would lie. He didn’t. He told me straight out that he was married and what she was like and what he was doing there with me.

I was good with it. Especially the honesty part. So I went with it and this lasted quite a while actually so when Becca and I moved in Kevin and I were still messing around.

This did cause a bit of an issue between Becca and I. One I didn’t quite understand. It bothered her that he was married (but Steve had a girlfriend????).

I explained it to her the best I could. I didn’t have an issue with him being married mostly because I didn’t really want him. I just wanted what came with him, sex and most importantly drugs. Kevin would buy me whatever drugs I wanted regularly without hesitation and I couldn’t be happier. The best part for me was at the end of the night; he left.

Becca wasn’t a fan of his wife as a person so she never pulled the “what about his wife card?” which didn’t hold much weight anyway. His wife knew all about me.

For her, the problem wasn’t that he was wandering it was with who. She didn’t like me for whatever reason (and no the reason wasn’t that I was sleeping with her husband, she didn’t like me long before that), she used to get nasty with me when she would come by mine and Joe’s place to pick up weed from Joe.

For whatever reason whenever Becca would get really messed up she would just go on and on about Kevin and me, I still couldn’t make sense of why it bothered her so much when she did the same thing with Steve except she had a boyfriend of her own. so I finally just came right out and said just that to her and response just baffled me.

“You’re just using this guy for drugs and sex Brandy, kinda makes you look like a hoe.”

Yes she was right and no I didn’t see it that way at the time but she was also doing the exact same thing and that I could see clearly so I was just left with more confusion and a bit of rage. The fact that she could judge me on something that I had watched her do herself just sparked a flame in me and with that we lived in the same house for 2 months and didn’t speak one word to each other.

“Anger is useful only to a certain point. After that, it becomes rage, and rage will make you careless.”
― Lauren Oliver