To my younger self, I’m writing you from 2023, You probably won’t read this letter because it’s lost under the mess scattered across the table, next to the leftover residue of last night’s bender.
I know you’re lost, everything hurts, and the one thing that takes the pain away is destroying everything you love.
Things are about to get really rough, and you’re going to have to make the choice you always knew you would have to make, but first is going to come one you were never prepared for.
You’re going to want to give up and just end it all. The fight is going to get so rough that you’re going to want to give in and let the demons consume you.
I promise you’re going to come out of this even stronger than you can imagine.
You are going to reconnect in places you never thought possible and create connections that change the lives of others in the most POSITIVE ways.
The road to get where we are now has been absolutely wild. Full of both joy and pain. Gains and losses.
Today, we have been clean for 17 years! 17 YEARS!!!!
We have a job we love. The best relationship with mom we have ever had, and we even talk to Amanda! We have become a good mother, sister, daughter, and friend.
We are madly in love with a man who loves and supports us in ways we never dreamed possible. We have the bestest best friend we could ask for! She loves and supports us unconditionally and aggressively, lol.
Right now, you need her, and I know that, and yes, it will take some more years before you find her, but I promise you the wait is worth it. The work you’re going to do to be who she needs you to be is beyond worth the love she adds to our ife.
All of the amazing things that blossom from this incredible dark time are worth every step of this struggle, I promise you that.
So many people are proud of who we are now. You have helped me change lives and inspire others. I am so so proud of you.
Please just know there comes a day when you look at your life and your heart fills with pride and not shame.
Stay strong, keep fighting, and never give up.
37 year old you
“My recovery from drug addiction is the single greatest accomplishment of my life… but it takes work — hard, painful work”Jamie Lee Curtis