On October 29th 2021, I packed what I could of my life into my sister’s minivan and left everything I knew.

It was so much harder than even I was prepared for, and if you have paid attention thus far you know I tend to over-prepare for emotional situations but I quickly found out that wasn’t an option this time around.

All the different emotions came up at once in a tidal wave knocking the air right out of me. There was so much I felt needed to be done but time had simply run out. I had to go. I had to follow through with the scary thing.

The next 2 days were full of driving and tears.

My sister drove and I cried.

It was hard because I didn’t want to be too emotional and make my sister feel any type of negative way but I couldn’t keep the tears from falling.

As excited as I was to start this new adventure my heart was breaking. As we drove I got farther away from everything I had ever known and that hit me in such an unexpected way. I just wasn’t as prepared as I had thought I would be.

Super early Halloween morning we arrived at my sister’s house, everyone was fast asleep and I wasn’t far behind them. The long drive and emotional chaos had wiped me out completely. I spent days trying to find my footing and dealing with the emotions I was feeling. It was definitely a struggle and for the sake of complete transparency it still is.

Now the holidays have come and gone. 2021 is over and we are almost halfway through the first month of 2022. I still feel so lost and unsure of so much.

The upside to this is I have found myself writing again.

Both here on the site and in my personal journal which I haven’t done in a VERY long time. Hell it’s been months since I have posted here.

As I write this I have a few new pieces in the works as well. I don’t promise to have them out fast as I have literally been working on this one since November ( insert face plam here).

Don’t be afraid to start over again.
This time, you’re not starting,
From scratch, you’re starting from experience.

Biggs Burke
About the Author

Brandy Clear is woman who has walked down some of the darkest paths life has to offer. She has taken a lot of these steps alone. As she has rebuilt her life and self she has made it her mission to be the light to as many people as she can. She wants no one to have to walk alone in the dark. She does not want to save you, she just wants to remind you that you are not alone.

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