Please be warned here that this is 100 percent a Brandy rant and you may or may not agree with what I have to say here and or may not find it to be as gentle or politically correct as you would like but let us be honest that is a real risk with every post you click on.
So with that being said let the rant begin…..
I am sick of hearing ” If you don’t love yourself you can’t love someone else”.
First of all, this is the biggest bullshit lie we feed ourselves and those around us. You can love another person and have no love for yourself.
Want to know how I know that?
I know that because I have spent the better part of 36 years having little to no love for myself but I have loved others with my whole being.
I have people in my life that I would kill for, that I would do ANYTHING for, without hesitation. Not all of these people are family and so I won’t listen to “well you’re supposed to love them”. I am also fully aware that nine times out of ten that line of shit is used when talking about romantic love.
I have experienced romantic love while simultaneously hating everything I am. I have dedicated years of my life to romantic love and mere moments to self-love. Now before you start on about how those romantic relationships didn’t work out let me make it clear a man has never walked out of my life with the excuse ” you don’t love you so I don’t either”.
I still to this very moment in time struggle with self-love.
I do not however struggle with loving those around me. I have had issues with emotional attachments and what not but that stems from my attachment disorder and some of it comes from B.P.D. I have struggled with the idea of someone else loving me but I have never struggled to love other people.
I have learned a lot about loving myself through my love and support of others. I have learned to see myself in some of the ways that others see me and none of that would be possible if I didn’t LOVE those people.
Your ability to love the people around you is not based on your ability to love yourself.
Yes, self-love is important and is definitely something you should aim for but it is not the end all be all of your ability to love others.
You are not being fake or dishonest about your feeling towards someone else if you are not your own best friend.
For the love of all things holy, STOP TELLING EACHOTHER this BULLSHIT!!!!
Stop allowing people who are not living your life and dealing with your struggles tell you how to what you are or are not capable of doing. Stop feeding this stupid ass lie to the ones you love.
You CAN love others and hate yourself at the same time.
Sometimes you love the people around you so much that like me you start to slowly love things about yourself.
It takes time to build a healthy relationship with yourself and sometimes it takes others to help you see your shine.
Do I want you to love who you are and all the things about you that you think are messed up or bad?
YES yes, I do but I do not want anyone walking around thinking that just because they have a hard time loving themselves that means that they will struggle with loving others or be unable to love others. It’s bullshit. It’s a fucking bald-faced lie and we need to stop telling it to ourselves and those around us.
Ok end rant.
“Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth, and everything else will come.”
Ellen DeGeneres
