Things calmed down a bit after that fight. Tom came home with a peace offering in the form of an ounce of weed and a pack of blunt wraps and all seemed to be okay.

Stacy would disappear for hours at a time while Tom was at work and I would sit with the kids. It was however what I agreed to do in return for a place to stay so there were no complaints from me.

I had plenty of time to do the things I wanted to do when she returned or when Tom would come home. For the most part she would be back before Tom got out of work and I would be free to do what ever it was I wanted to do.

I didn’t ask questions about the wheres and whos of their days so when Tom started to question me about the day time events I could provide no real answers, this frustrated him but not with me really more like a situational frustration.

I didn’t really understand why he wanted so much information on the day time events, it didn’t make sense to me that he didn’t already know what was going on in his house with his children and their mother.

Tom came home one day and Stacy hadn’t returned from her outing and I had no answer to where she was when I was asked. All I could say is that she asked me to watch the boys and had left around 2 o’clock.

Tina arrived shortly after Tom with all the same questions and I still could provide no real answers. The two of them decided that Tina would take the boys for the night and Tom would wait for Stacy to arrive at home.

This time it was Tom who decided to pass the time with drugs, and not just weed. He pulled out a bag of coke and broke out some lines and there we sat doing lines while I learned the secrets of this house I found myself in.

Tom had felt that Stacy’s use of crack was getting out of hand and he was pretty sure that she was selling things around the house to get it behind his back. He was so angry and just going on and on about it. As soon as Stacy walked in the house talking a mile a minute and ready to start cleaning everything in sight Tom lost it.

We both knew just by looking at her what she had been doing while she was gone and as it was not my place to be involved I quickly found myself walking out of the house and right to the dope man.

I needed to calm my nerves and try to be as far from here as I could at the moment. I wasn’t trying to be in the middle of something I didn’t understand or have any real part in. I sat on the floor of the dope house for what felt like forever, (in reality it was about 6 hours) before I felt I was high enough to go back home.

The house was calm and dark when I arrived, and since I knew the kids weren’t there I had decided to bring the last of my dope home with me but left my needles behind, lucky for me there was no shortage of snorting utensils at my disposal.

I remember drifting off to sleep with hopes that it would stay calm like this. For awhile it did, but as all good things do the calm period ended.

Sinful and forbidden pleasures are like poisoned bread. They may satisfy appetite for the moment, but there is death in them at the end.” -Tyron Edwards

About the Author

Brandy Clear is woman who has walked down some of the darkest paths life has to offer. She has taken a lot of these steps alone. As she has rebuilt her life and self she has made it her mission to be the light to as many people as she can. She wants no one to have to walk alone in the dark. She does not want to save you, she just wants to remind you that you are not alone.

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