I would go through these days where the depression was bigger than I was (to be honest I still struggle with this) and I would struggle so hard to do anything.

My attitude would become overly aggressive. I would snap so easily over almost anything. I never had any control over my mouth when my emotions run high.

I say the most awful things to people and for the most part, it didn’t matter who you were if you were in my line of fire I was lashing out.

At this point, the physical aggression was pretty much at a standstill unless it was directed at myself. I was already locked up and not trying to get transferred along with more time so I kept my hands to myself, for a while anyway.

That first actual fight I got into in lock-up wasn’t even my fault. The benefit for me was there was a lot of staff present as we were outside returning from school.

As I was walking back to my cottage this girl we’ll call her Tammy came running up behind me swinging like a crazy person. So I proceeded to swing back until Staff pulled us apart.

I was sent to my room but not in a because I was in trouble kind of way but more of a go chill out kind of way. A little while later I had to go have a resolution meeting with Tammy.

Come to find out Tammy only attacked me because she thought I was someone else. She apologized but insisted she wanted to press charges because I broke her nose.

The staff basically told her if I went she went. I only swung on her after she attacked me so technically its self-defense and there were plenty of witnesses to the event.

Tammy was a girl I would continue to have issues with for a long time after the fact but never did I let it get physical with her again.

“Anger is one letter short of danger. ” -Eleanor Roosevelt 

About the Author

Brandy Clear is woman who has walked down some of the darkest paths life has to offer. She has taken a lot of these steps alone. As she has rebuilt her life and self she has made it her mission to be the light to as many people as she can. She wants no one to have to walk alone in the dark. She does not want to save you, she just wants to remind you that you are not alone.

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